


The Naked Day

by MissInnocence



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Embarrassment, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 05:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4335446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissInnocence/pseuds/MissInnocence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when you are robbed of your clothing by little girls?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Naked Day

**Author's Note:**

> All characters, events and places is owned by Bioware, but the idea was my own,

Far off calling could be heard from another part of the wounded coast, gulls crying in the air, circling over a small cave. Varric, Isabela, Merrill and Fenris searched high and low for their missing friend. "Guys, you go up the hill, Merrill, you're with me, we need to find that lyrium addict, where she could have disappeared to I really don't know." Isabela mused and they went their separate ways, searching for Hawke. 

"Merrill, go call the rest, I found her!"

"Is she all right? She hasn't been eaten by crabs has she?"  

"She looks fine, just go get the others." Isabela bent down and searched Renaire's unconscious form for any signs of a struggle but found none, all that seemed to be wrong was the fact that Renaire's clothing was missing, as well as the small backpack with all the robes she was taking to Magnus to have repaired, so basically Hawke was left without any robes. That is a relief, but one must be desperate for clothes to render Hawke unconscious. 

"Hawke, Hawke! Wake up!" Isabela's amused voice broke through the blurred and befuddled state of Renaire's mind. Her aching joints made it difficult to rise herself from the floor. As she sat up she noticed that not only her clothes were missing but her small backpack with her robes and the satchel with her backup potions as well. "Isabela, did you remove clothes and where is my back pack?"

"No we found you like this, do you have any recollection as to what happened to you?"

"Uhm no, just something of a little girl offering me a drink when I stopped for a break, she appeared out of nowhere and offered me her flask, after that everything went blank..."

"Oh I absolutely just can't believe this, the great Champion of Kirkwall had been drugged by mere kids and was robbed of all her clothing. Someone help me, I can't breathe!" Varric exclaimed as he laughed himself into a state of tears after Hawke told the bits and pieces she could remember. "Varric Tethras, if you don't shut that gaping chasm you call your mouth, I swear to the Maker, I will burn you to ashes."

"Now, now Feisty, calm down Hawke, we can take you home now and find you something to wear." Renaire glowered at Varric for a few moments, then stuck her tongue out and pulled a face. As she struggled to find her balance, the touchy pirate helped her up and placed a piece of cloth over her that could only barely pass for a cloak. They all left the crumbling, decaying cave and walked to the path, staying as close to the bushes as possible, hoping not to attract any attention from possible dangers.

"Hawke, I found your staff, it was in the bushes over there at that sickly looking palm tree. Oh look! It's a little sunbug, fly little creature, be free, remember me when you return back to your home."

"Merrill, you're doing it again, getting distracted by trivial things, thank you for my staff. I'm just glad I didn't travel with my coinpurse or my big backpack, otherwise I would have lost all the supplies and money." Renaire mused as she checked her staff for any possible damage, finding none and continuing towards the docks. As they entered the docks, Renaire ran to the nearest merchant, a shady looking fellow, with the odd request of not to ask where his goods were from. Unfortunately he did not have any robes.

She hurried straight up the stairs, covering her barely-there small clothes with the flimsy cloak. Ugh, if only she could conjure up clothing or even cast a spell of invisibility she would greatly appreciate it. Running up the staircase in the shadows towards the gallows, she ran from one merchant to the other. She found weapons, potions and trinkets, but not one had any form of covering, not even basic armour. Varric and Isabela laughed and made unsavoury jokes and remarks as Renaire scuttled from one merchant to the other, unable to find clothes.

"Varric, the Champion of Kirkwall should be renamed to the Nudist of Kirkwall, or the exhibitionist of Kirkwall." Isabela stated, with a smirk splashed over her face.

"Just think of the songs and tales I could tell of this day, Isabela, I would become a famous man due to my scandalous tales and songs!"

They doubled over due to Hawke's ridiculous and oh-so-embarrassing situation, unable and unwilling to end their merciless mocking. 

"Varric I will burn you at the stake if you dare. You can't think that this is so funny?" Renaire inquired with her brow raised and a amused grin playing at the corners of her mouth. 

"No Renaire, this is not funny..." he answered grimly.

"It's unbelievably hilarious." Isabela retorted, causing laughter to wreck through the merchant's gathering crowd. Grasping at the cloak around her, Renaire fled up to Lowtown, and still none of the merchants had anything she could cover herself with. 

"Okay, now all of you will go to your homes and see if you can find me something to wear and I will meet you all back in Darktown, I'll be scouting the merchants' wares there for anything wearable. Oh and Isabela please check in my storage back at the mansion for anything decent and refrain from stealing my daggers, I might be a mage but I love my daggers."

After hours of waiting, everyone returned empty-handed and discouraged. Renaire was being consumed by her frustration. She left for Hightown, ran into Cullen, well ran him down, and they both tumbled down the staircase into the enclosed alleyway. Rubbing her bruised and pained arm, she cursed the entire existence of the world under her breath.  "Hawke, if you need my attention urgently, you don't have to run me out of the walkway, scantily dressed and tossing me down stairs with unrelenting force." 

"Out of my way, Cullen, I need to get to the market, urgently!" She dashed up the stairs and made a straight line towards the marketplace. Cullen stared at where she had been standing until she disappeared. He retrieved his shield and sword and made his way to the Circle, knowing that if he didn't find a robe for Renaire, she would be running around practically naked, and she won't find anything at any of the markets in Kirkwall, since the merchant ships had all been delayed due to heavy storms at sea. 

Renaire ran to her mansion, near tears, it was like the universe was working against her. She raced up to her room, she remembered that she had some finery in the chest at her bed. Rummaging through her drawers for the key, she sun down, defeated. The key was lost. Curling herself up in bed, she cursed everything and cried. Tormented by nightmarish thoughts, cursed to a life of naked misery, alone and cold, dying in the dirt. Freezing to the bone. 

The closing of the mansion's heavy wooden doors and the loud discussions outside her room didn't cause her to even glace to her room's door, nor did the calling of her name have any success in luring Renaire out of her bedroom. Completely frustrated, Cullen broke the door's locks and marched in, a chest overflowing with different robes in her size in his arms and placed it next to the crying redhead. He sat down next to her, stroked her back until she calmed. Cullen was unable to comprehend why she would be traveling with all her clothing, but once her friends explained everything to him upon entering, he was first shocked and then amused at the whole situation. 

Saving the Champion from a clothing crisis, well this was something he never thought would happen. Being engaged in death defying combat, constantly slaying blood mages and defeating demons, always. These types of things crossed his mind frequently. Saving Renaire from running around naked, never. This was a tale neither he nor the merchants of Kirkwall would ever forget.

 


End file.
